- Escape to Parnassus Farm: Magaliesburg's Eco-Luxury Retreat
- Escape to Parnassus Farm: My Magaliesburg Eco-Luxury Adventure (and All the Messy Bits!)
- Okay, so what *is* Parnassus Farm, really? Sounds kinda…fancy.
- The cabins...are they as gorgeous as they look in the photos? (Because let's be honest, those photos are *always* deceptive.)
- What's the food like? Is it all salads and quinoa? (I need a pizza, people!)
- Activities? Hiking? Animals? What can I actually DO there?
- Is it kid-friendly? (Because, you know, kids.)
- Let's talk about the pool... Is it as Instagrammable as it looks?
- Is it *really* eco-friendly? Is it just a buzzword?
- Anything I should REALLY know before booking? Any "hidden truths"?
- Would you go back?
Escape to Parnassus Farm: Magaliesburg's Eco-Luxury Retreat
Escape to Parnassus Farm: My Magaliesburg Eco-Luxury Adventure (and All the Messy Bits!)
Okay, so I just got back from Parnassus Farm in Magaliesburg, and honestly, my brain is still trying to unscramble itself. This place… whew. It's supposed to be "eco-luxury," a phrase that made me expect kale smoothies and guilt trips about my carbon footprint. I’m happy to report, it was so much more complicated (and enjoyable!) than that. Prepare for the good, the bad, and the "wait, what just happened?" of my Parnassus experience.
(SEO & Metadata Soup: We've Got You Covered!)
Let's get this out of the way first. This review is for anyone searching for: Parnassus Farm Review, Magaliesburg Eco-Retreat, Luxury Spa Getaway South Africa, Accessible Hotels South Africa, Pet-Friendly Hotels Near Johannesburg, Family-Friendly Resorts Gauteng, Romantic Getaway Gauteng. You'll find everything you need here: Accessibility features, WiFi in all rooms, On-site restaurants, Spa services, Swimming pool, Vegetarian options, Family activities, Safety protocols, COVID-19 cleaning, Breakfast in bed, Romantic accommodation, and more! (Phew! Okay, meta done. Now, back to the chaos.)
First Impressions (and a Near-Disaster with the GPS)
Getting there was the first adventure. My GPS, bless its heart, seemed to be having a full-blown identity crisis. We ended up on a gravel road that definitely wasn't designed for my city car, muttering threats under my breath about the car "power charging station" I’d probably need after this ordeal. The good news? The views, once we arrived, were stunning. Rolling hills, the crisp Magaliesberg air… I instantly felt some of the city stress melt away. Though, let’s be honest, my shoulders were still knotted from that harrowing drive.
The check-in process was…efficient. They offered contactless check-in, but I opted for the full human interaction. The staff were friendly, helpful, and thankfully, spoke English. The "doorman" was also extremely helpful - he took our bags and provided access to our "non-smoking" room, which was great.
The Room: My Sanctuary (and the Great Towel Heist of 2023)
Okay, the room. I opted for a suite, hoping for a little extra space. And I got it! It was surprisingly well-designed—spacious and airy, with all the bells and whistles. Let's tick off some boxes:
- Wi-Fi [free] in all rooms! (Yes, it's true. The internet was shockingly reliable, perfect for my work calls where I wasn't sure I would be able to access it).
- Air conditioning, Blackout curtains: I could sleep like a (very well-rested) baby.
- Coffee/tea maker: Crucial. (The complimentary tea selection was decent, but the coffee was a lifesaver.)
- Bathtub, Separate shower/bathtub, Toiletries: The bathroom was luxurious, though the “slippers” provided were a tad too small for my size 10 feet.
- In-room safe box, Refrigerator, Mini Bar, Free Bottled Water: All the essentials.
- Desk, Laptop workspace, Reading light: Great for getting some work done during the day.
- Alarm clock, Wake-up service: Standard, but effective. Not that I needed the wake-up service… I'm an early riser, courtesy of my internal anxiety clock.
Now, for my only real gripe: The Great Towel Heist of 2023. I swear, the towels vanished faster than my willpower around the dessert buffet. I’d use one, and POOF! Gone. I reported it to housekeeping twice. It was a minor annoyance, but it did make me wonder if I was living some kind of bizarre, luxury-hotel-themed version of "Survivor."
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food Glorious Food (and That Time I Tripped at the Buffet)
Parnassus Farm definitely delivers on the food front. There were multiple restaurants to choose from, and the room service [24-hour] was a lifesaver on a late arrival night. I went through my fair share of desserts from the desserts in restaurant menu.
Breakfast [buffet]: A feast! I went for the Western option (bacon, eggs, the works), but there was an Asian breakfast choice, too. The Buffet in restaurant had everything – pastries, fruit, yogurt, and hot dishes. I’m pretty sure I ate my weight in pastries one morning. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was also excellent.
A la carte in restaurant: I indulged in a fancy dinner one night. The International cuisine in restaurant was impressive, but I did get a little lost in the menu!
Poolside bar: Perfect for cocktails and snacks. I sampled a few, I must admit. The Snack bar provided some quick, easy options when I was feeling peckish.
Vegetarian restaurant: I found a few vegetarian options.
Alternative meal arrangement: The staff were happy to accommodate dietary restrictions.
And the big reveal? I totally face-planted in front of the buffet one morning. Tripped on a rogue rug. Mortifying. But hey, at least I'm memorable, right? And the staff were lovely about it, offering me a juice and "essential condiments" like a sympathetic hug.
Relaxation Station: Spa, Pool, and Zen-Out Zone (and One Slightly Awkward Massage)
This is where Parnassus really shines. They have a fantastic spa, filled with all sorts of ways to escape the world.
- Massage: The massage was divine. I opted for a deep tissue massage to work out those road-trip kinks.
- Spa: I spent a ridiculous amount of time in the Spa/sauna and Steamroom. Bliss.
- Swimming pool: The Swimming pool [outdoor] was beautiful, with a view of the rolling hills.
- Sauna: A great way to end the day.
- Body scrub, Body wrap, Foot bath: Did the whole shebang. (Worth it.)
Now, for the awkward bit. During my massage, the therapist accidentally used a product that, shall we say, didn't quite agree with my skin. A minor rash developed. Thankfully, they were super apologetic and offered complimentary treatment. (And let's be honest, even with the rash, it was still a great massage.)
Things to Do (Beyond Just Chilling): Adventures and Amusements
Okay, so Parnassus is a place to relax, but if you're the type who needs some action, you're covered.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: I peeked in. Looked well-equipped, although I remained firmly on the "relaxation" side of the fence.
- Meetings, Meeting/banquet facilities: If you NEED to get some business done, it’s set up for that.
- Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Babysitting service: If you have the kids, they have you covered.
Cleanliness and Safety: COVID-19 Conscious (and a Little Too Much Hand Sanitizer?)
Parnassus took COVID-19 seriously. They had all the necessary precautions in place:
- Hand sanitizer everywhere. Seriously, everywhere. My hands felt like they were permanently pickled by the end of the trip. But hey, better safe than sorry!
- Staff trained in safety protocol.
- Daily disinfection in common areas.
- Rooms sanitized between stays.
- Individually-wrapped food options.
- Safe dining setup.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: People were generally good at spacing out.
- Cashless payment service: Easy and convenient.
- Rooms sanitization opt-out available – In case you want to be extra cautious.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag (But Generally Good!)
This is important. I'm happy to say that Parnassus Farm made a real effort with accessibility.
Elevator: Provided access to the rooms.
Facilities for disabled guests: The public areas seemed wheelchair-friendly.
Exterior corridor: Easy to navigate and access facilities.
Access: Well-designed walkways, even the gardens were accessible.
Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]: Plenty of parking.
The Verdict: Would I Go Back?
Absolutely. Despite the minor hiccups (hello, Great Towel Heist!), Parnassus Farm is a fantastic escape. It's luxurious, it's beautiful, and it offers a ton of options for relaxation and entertainment. It’s well-maintained, and whilst I was not able to test every single "Things to do section" it feels like it offers something for everyone. It's the perfect place to recharge your
Escape to Paradise: Uncover the Secret of Baan Anattaya, Koh Yao Noi
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your sanitized, perfectly-planned itinerary. This is… well, this is what actually happens when you try to "get away from it all" at a place like Parnassus Farm. And let me tell you, "away from it all" sometimes means "right in the thick of it" – usually involving a questionable amount of bug spray and an existential crisis or two.
Parnassus Farm: A Messy, Wonderful Adventure (Or, My Attempts at Zen and My Near-Fatal Encounter with a Bush Baby)
(Before Departure: The Pre-Trip Panic)
- The "Am I Really Doing This?" Stage: Okay, so Parnassus Farm. Sounds idyllic, right? Rolling hills, birdsong, the promise of actual silence. My inner city gremlin, however, immediately started screaming. Packing was a disaster. Found three pairs of shoes that might work. Doubtful.
- The Car Pack: Found the car to be absolutely filled with dust, let alone luggage. It's going to be a long trip.
(Day 1: Arrival and the Illusion of Tranquility)
12:00 PM - Arrival and the Great Luggage Shuffle: Arrived at Parnassus. The drive was beautiful, actually. The Magaliesberg mountains are stunning – even from a crumpled car that looks like it's seen better days (let's be honest, it hasn't). Getting the luggage out was an ordeal, the car got really dusty.
1:00 PM - Check-in & Initial "Wow!" The place is rustic-chic, if that makes any sense. Wooden beams, a huge fireplace (which, let's be honest, I'll never use because I'm terrified of fire). The view from the balcony of my little cottage is stunning, like, legitimately makes-you-stop-and-breathe-stunning. I thought, 'I may not hate this.'
1:30 PM - Lunch & The First Taste of Slow: Okay, lunch was okay. Simple, wholesome food. But the silence? The actual silence? It's unsettling. I almost want to turn on my phone just to fill the void.
2:30 PM - "Nature Walk of Doom" (AKA: Reality Bites): The pamphlet promised "gentle trails." Lies. All lies. The first trail, the 'easy' one', was immediately a steep climb. My thighs are screaming, the sun is beating down, and I'm pretty sure a spider just tried to make a home in my hair. Note to self: invest in a hat that offers actual sun protection. I feel a bit defeated, but also, a little exhilarated.
4:00 PM - Cottage Confinement & Book Therapy: Back in the cottage, drinking a disgusting instant coffee. Still, there aren't any spiders here at least. Maybe this whole "disconnect" thing isn't so bad. A good book might be just what I need.
6:00 PM - Sunset & The Existential Dread: The sunset? Unbelievably gorgeous. One big ball of orange and red. It makes you contemplate life, the universe, and whether you actually packed the right socks for tomorrow. And suddenly I'm thinking about all the things I haven't done, all the people I haven't called, the… well, you get the idea. Time to pour myself a very large glass of wine.
(Day 2: Embrace the Chaos)
- 7:00 AM - The Bug Spray Revelation: Holy mother of all things itchy. I woke up covered in bites, presumably thanks to the aforementioned spider's extended family. Bug spray is my new religion.
- 8:00 AM - Buffet Breakfast Bliss (and Minor Panic): The breakfast buffet is shockingly good. Pancakes! Sausage! But I'm also slightly panicked about how much food I'm actually enjoying. Is this what happens when you're surrounded by nature? You start eating like a bear preparing for hibernation?
- 9:00 AM - Horse Riding (The "I'm-Not-A-Cowgirl-But-Here-We-Go" Episode): So, I've never ridden a horse before. Apparently, Parnassus has a "gentle" horse, an ancient creature, that is the equivalent of riding a rocking horse. I figured, how bad could it be? Answer: surprisingly bad. I spent the entire ride clinging to the saddle, whispering profanities to the horse (apologies in advance, Mr. Ed). I think I may have pulled a muscle. But hey, I survived, and the view from horseback was… well, it was magnificent. I feel like a slightly bruised, slightly sweaty, but definitely more confident human being.
- 11:00 AM - The "Nature Hike (Take Two)" (and the Bush Baby Scare): Today I chose the medium level - which I'm starting to think is a mean trick played by the locals - and it was a pretty nice hike. I still was a bit sweaty, but had nice views. Coming back to my cottage at dusk was quite the experience. I was walking through these tall bushes and then BAM! A bush baby jumps out, right in front of me. I swear, my heart did a triple somersault. I basically screamed like a twelve-year-old girl at a Justin Bieber concert. Seriously, I just about had a heart attack. These things are nocturnal and adorable. I spent the next hour convinced it was going to come back and haunt my dreams.
- 1:00 PM - Lunch and Reflection: Okay let's be honest and say the lunch wasn't exactly the best food I have eaten. But it's probably good that I focus on the surrounding beauty instead.
- 2:00 PM - The Spa Experience (If You Can Call It That): Okay so there's a spa. I treated myself to a massage. The massage itself was lovely, but the ambiance? Let's just say it was rustic.
- 4:00 PM - The "Do I Even Belong Here?" Mental Breakdown: Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration. But I did find myself staring into the distance for a good solid hour, questioning my life choices, my career, and whether I should have brought more snacks. It's that whole "away from it all" thing. It's exposing the unmentionables.
- 6:00 PM - Dinner & The Stargazing Promise: Hoping for better food tonight. And I'm determined to see some actual stars tonight. The brochure promised spectacular stargazing. I really, really hope that's true. I packed a camera - let's see if it can capture the skies.
(Day 3: (Almost) Zen? (Maybe))
- 7:00 AM - Sunrise & A Gentle Acceptance: Woke up feeling… surprisingly good. No new bug bites. (Knock on wood.) The sunrise was epic. Maybe this whole "nature thing" is starting to rub off on me.
- 8:00 AM - Breakfast & Re-evaluation of All Life Choices: Okay, the cook outdid themselves. Pancakes again. Sausage again. It is so good that there is a chance that I might stay and not go back to the city.
- 9:00 AM - Final Walk (and a Farewell to the Bush Baby): One final walk through the grounds. I took a deep breath. I may even be slightly sad to leave. I even waved goodbye to the bushes where the bush baby was, as a way of thanks for the experience.
- 11:00 AM - Checking Out & The Unspoken Promise: Checking out. The staff were lovely. I leave with a slightly lighter heart and a slightly cleaner soul. I leave, feeling… different. I leave wondering if this "Zen" thing is just a myth, or if maybe, just maybe, I've found a little piece of it.
(Departure & Beyond)
- Departure Time: 11:30 AM.
- Drive Home: A long drive. I might be a bit tired, but I also have a lot to think and reflect upon. I'll probably get stuck in traffic. But I think I'll be alright.
Final Thoughts:
Parnassus Farm was messy, imperfect, and sometimes downright terrifying (that bush baby, you hear me?). But it was also beautiful, restorative, and strangely, exactly what I needed. Will I go back? Probably. Maybe. After I've invested in a serious set of bug spray and a hat. And maybe after I've learned to ride a horse without sounding like I'm being held hostage. Until next time, Parnassus. Until next time.
Unbelievable KLCC Views! Luxury Mercu Summer Suite Awaits
Escape to Parnassus Farm: The Real Deal FAQs (Because You Need to Know!)
Okay, so what *is* Parnassus Farm, really? Sounds kinda…fancy.
Alright, picture this: you're absolutely *fried* from city life. Your brain feels like a scrambled egg trying to catch a thought. That’s how *I* felt. Then came Parnassus. Honestly? The “eco-luxury” branding? Yeah, it’s there, but don't let it scare you. It's a beautiful farm in the Magaliesburg, a little slice of heaven where the air smells of... well, clean air! Think rustic-chic cabins (more on those later), sprawling views, and a general vibe of "breathe deeply, you stressed-out maniac." It’s not the Ritz, thank God. More like a really, really well-curated, slightly-rough-around-the-edges escape.
The cabins...are they as gorgeous as they look in the photos? (Because let's be honest, those photos are *always* deceptive.)
Okay, this is where I get *real*. The photos? Mostly accurate. BUT… and there’s a but, folks. Remember that “rustic-chic” vibe? Well, sometimes the “rustic” leans a *little* heavily on the "rustic." I stayed in the “Stonehouse” (which, side note, is NOT made of actual stone, mostly wood. Still cool, though), and, lemme tell you, on a particularly windy night, I thought the roof might…well, take flight. I swear I heard a squirrel plotting an elaborate heist above me! The furniture is lovely, but the wood is slightly creaky. Expect a bit of… character. It's part of the charm, mostly. But, yeah, bring earplugs if you're easily startled by the sounds of nature battling a wooden structure.
What's the food like? Is it all salads and quinoa? (I need a pizza, people!)
*Deep breath.* Food is a big deal, right? Parnassus leans towards wholesome, locally-sourced goodness. Think fresh veggies, maybe some hearty stews, and breakfasts that actually make you *want* to get out of bed (which is saying something, trust me). They're good, really good. I had a mushroom frittata that still haunts my dreams – in a good way. But, and it’s a big but, they don’t serve pizza. No pizzas. I know. I asked. Several times. (Don't judge my love of melted cheese!) So, if you're a pizza fiend like me, maybe sneak some in. Just sayin'. I didn't, but I thought about it. A lot.
Activities? Hiking? Animals? What can I actually DO there?
Okay, listen up. Hiking is *definitely* an option. The trails are beautiful, and they have varying levels of difficulty. I got lost. Briefly. Okay, maybe for an hour. Okay, I was hopelessly lost, but I finally found my way back! (Thanks to a very helpful sheep. Seriously). And yes, there are animals! Horses, sheep, chickens... they're basically part of the decor. Be prepared for the rooster to wake you up at the crack of dawn. He's punctual, that little guy. And for the sheep to eye you with a knowing look, like they've seen it all. They probably have. You can also just... *do nothing*. And that's *perfectly* acceptable.
Is it kid-friendly? (Because, you know, kids.)
Hmm, this is a tricky one. They *allow* kids. And, yes, there's room to roam. But, and it’s a *big* but, Parnassus is geared more towards relaxation than screaming toddlers. Quiet playtime is encouraged, but wild-child antics might not be the best fit for the overall vibe. Maybe ask yourself, "Can my offspring handle a peaceful, slightly-boring (for a kid) weekend?" If the answer is yes, you are set. If the answer is “they’re gonna destroy the place”, consider a different trip. (Or a very good babysitter.)
Let's talk about the pool... Is it as Instagrammable as it looks?
Alright, the pool. Yes, it is gorgeous. Yes, it's perfect for those "look how relaxed I am" Instagram photos. But here's the tea: it's *cold*. Seriously, it was invigorating. I jumped in, gasped, swam for like 5 minutes, and then decided that sunbathing was a much wiser choice. It is a beautiful pool, though. Just...brace yourself for the chill. Alternatively? Bring a massive inflatable unicorn, because, you know, why not?
Is it *really* eco-friendly? Is it just a buzzword?
This is crucial. And honestly, I was a little skeptical at first. But yeah, they seem to genuinely care. Solar power, composting toilets (which, despite my initial apprehension, were surprisingly pleasant. Truly!), minimizing waste… They're trying. It's not perfect, nothing is, but it's definitely more than just a marketing ploy. It's a place that's trying to tread lightly on the earth. I appreciate that.
Anything I should REALLY know before booking? Any "hidden truths"?
Okay, here's the real, unfiltered, truth bomb. 1. **Bring bug spray.** Seriously. The mosquitoes are… enthusiastic. And if you're anything like me, they'll see you as a gourmet buffet. 2. **Embrace the slow.** This is *not* a place for rushing. Things happen at a more… leisurely pace. Learn to relax. Or try. 3. **Pack for all weather.** The Magaliesberg can be a fickle mistress. One minute sunshine, the next… a full-blown storm. Layers are your friend. 4. **Leave your phone in the cabin.** (Unless you *really* need it for camera duty. But try to disconnect.) The point is to escape the constant beeps and buzzes. You'll be surprised how good it feels. 5. **It's not perfect.** It might be a bit rustic. There might be some unexpected quirks. But the imperfections are part of the charm. 6. **Most important thing:** Be prepared to feel… different when you leave. Less stressed, more grounded, happy, well fed. and ready for another escape at some point.
Would you go back?
