Escape to Paradise: Green Lake View Apartment in Tangerang!
Escape to Paradise: Green Lake View Apartment - Tangerang: My Wild, Woolly, and (Mostly!) Wonderful Review
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to take you on a wild ride through the Green Lake View Apartment in Tangerang. Forget polished brochures and predictable descriptions; this is the real deal, warts and all. Prepare yourself.
SEO/Metadata Blitz (Because, You Know, the Internet…)
- Keywords: Green Lake View Apartment, Tangerang, Review, Accessibility, Spa, Swimming Pool, Restaurant, Family Friendly, Wi-Fi, Jakarta, Indonesia, Luxury, Hotel, Vacation, Staycation
- Meta Description: Honest and hilarious review of Green Lake View Apartment in Tangerang! Covering accessibility, amazing spa & pool, dining options, family activities & more. Is it paradise? Find out! (Plus, Wi-Fi woes & other real-life adventures.)
First Impressions: The Good, the Annoying, and the "Wait, What?"
Okay, arriving at the Green Lake View. The name is accurate; you do get a pretty sweet view of… well, the lake. And it IS green. (Progress!) The lobby? Pretty swanky, all polished marble and strategically placed orchids. Immediately, I'm picturing myself lounging in a robe, sipping something exotic. (Spoiler: I did eventually get to lounge in a robe… after a minor meltdown involving a malfunctioning coffee machine.)
Accessibility: Not Quite Nirvana, But Decent. Accessibility Check: Elevators present – phew! Accessibility Observations: I noticed several ramps and accessible rooms, which is a HUGE plus. The walkways were spacious. Good on you, Green Lake View! It's not quite a fully accessible paradise, but it is certainly better than some places I’ve visited.
On-site Restaurant and Lounges: Feed Me, Seymour! Restaurant Highlights: Multiple Restaurants. Yes! 24 hour Room Service. The variety was impressive, from a poolside bar to fancy dining. The food was Generally Good. Some of the food was a little more bland but still good enough! Restaurant Lowlights: Some of the restaurants were closed at certain times, which was a bit frustrating. The buffet breakfast (more on that later) could be overwhelming.
Wheelchair-Accessible: (As mentioned previously, it was all pretty accessible)
Internet Access: Wi-Fi Woes and LAN Glory
Internet Access: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Internet [LAN]: Internet access – LAN. Internet Services: This is where my honeymoon took a brief, albeit hilarious, detour. Wi-Fi in public Areas: Wi-Fi’s Present. Internet Experience (specifically, the Wi-Fi): Okay, let's be brutally honest. The Wi-Fi in my room was… a fickle mistress. Some days she purred like a kitten, streaming HD videos with grace. Other days, she was a grumpy old cat, refusing to load a simple Google search. I’m talking full-blown "dial-up in 2024" level frustration. I even tried whispering sweet nothings to the router (don't judge me, I was desperate). Eventually, I resorted to the LAN connection, which was surprisingly stable, but… come on, people! We’re living in the future!
The Internet's the Reason I'm Writing This Review:
Here’s a personal anecdote for ya. I'd planned to write these notes down in my journal, but the Internet connectivity was so terrible that I'm doing it here.
Things to Do: Relaxation Station & Beyond!
Ways to Relax: My Personal Mission! Body Scrub, Body Wrap, Fitness Center, Foot Bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: This is where Green Lake View truly shines. The spa is a haven of bliss. The pool with view is worth the hype. The Spa Experience (My Ode to Bliss): Okay, let's talk spa. This is where I truly embraced the "escape to paradise" thing. I indulged in the works: body scrub (heavenly!), massage (knotted muscles melted away!), and a session in the sauna (sweat, bliss, repeat). The massage therapist was a magician, and I swear, I emerged feeling a decade younger. My only regret? Not booking a longer session. The Spa's the Reason I'd go Back.
Cleanliness & Safety: Sanitized Reality?
Anti-viral cleaning products, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Everything was spotless. I felt safe and secure. The staff seemed well-trained in safety protocols.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: A Culinary Adventure (Mostly!)
A la carte in restaurant, Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: The dining options were varied, from the poolside bar to the fancy restaurants. The breakfast buffet, however, was an event. Huge, chaotic, and filled with every food imaginable. But there was something for everyone (even a fussy eater like yours truly), from fresh fruit to pastries to cooked-to-order omelets. My "Breakfast Buffet" Story (A Comedy of Errors): Okay, the breakfast buffet at Green Lake View. Wow. It was like a culinary Olympics. I went in with good intentions (eat healthy, keep it light), and emerged… stuffed and giggling. The sheer amount of food was overwhelming. I could have literally built a small cottage out of the pastries alone. The Asian breakfast was a highlight. You should not miss it.
Services and Conveniences: Your Comfort is Their Command?
Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: All the usual suspects were there. Laundry service? Check. Luggage storage? Check. Concierge? Ready to assist with anything (within reason).
For the Kids: Family Fun Factor
Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: I don't have kids, but the facilities looked good.
Getting Around: The Transportation Tango
Airport transfer, Bicycle parking, Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Car power charging station, Taxi service, Valet parking: Getting around was pretty easy.
In-Room Essentials: Comfort and Convenience
Available in all rooms, Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens. Rooms are well-equipped and comfortable, there's nothing missing, especially if you're going to spend a lot of time in your room.
Overall Verdict: Green Lake View - Worth the Trip!
Look, Green Lake View is not perfect. The Wi-Fi can be a pain, and the breakfast buffet can induce mild panic. But the pros far outweigh the cons. The spa is divine, the pool is gorgeous, the staff is friendly, and the views are lovely. Is it paradise? Maybe not quite. But it's a darn good escape from reality, and I'd happily go back. Just… maybe bring my own Wi-Fi router next time.
Escape to Paradise: Unforgettable Luxury at Hotel Vale do Café, Machado, Brazil
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because if I know anything about travel, it’s that the best-laid plans are usually absolute garbage. And this itinerary for Green Lake View by HH 5 in Tangerang, Indonesia? Consider it a suggestion, a starting point, a slightly delusional map to potential madness. Buckle up, because here we go:
Tangerang Tango: A Chaotic Odyssey (or, How I Learned to Love the Apartment Life)
Day 1: Arrival, Apartment Angst, and the Elusive Nasi Goreng
- 14:00 - Landing & Lurching: Touchdown at Soekarno-Hatta International Airport. Pray I don’t lose my luggage. (I’m already picturing it: my favourite batik shirt, eaten by a conveyor belt. Tragic.) Getting through customs… okay, breathing. Deep breaths. I speak some Indonesian…mostly food-related phrases. Wish me luck.
- 15:30 - Taxi Troubles & "Lost in Translation": Grab a taxi or ride-sharing service (depends on how brave I'm feeling). The traffic in Tangerang is legendary. Prepare for a slow crawl, potential arguments about the fare, and learning new, highly expressive hand gestures. My first attempt to explain "Green Lake View by HH 5" will likely involve a lot of pointing and blank stares.
- 17:00 - Apartment Check-In & Immediate Disappointment (maybe): Arrive at Green Lake View. Cross fingers for a decent view (crucial for Instagram, duh) and that the AC actually works. Realistically, I'm expecting a slight musty smell and a precarious-looking shower. Oh, and hopefully SOMEONE understands English!
- 18:00 - Grocery Store Gauntlet: Locate a nearby supermarket. Indonesian supermarkets are an adventure unto themselves, filled with exotic fruits I can’t identify and suspiciously cheap snacks. My mission: acquire instant coffee, water, and something resembling actual food. This is where the real test of my Indonesian skills begins.
- 19:30 - Nasi Goreng Quest (The Holy Grail): This is the most important quest. I need, NEED, to find authentic nasi goreng. The best way? Ask a local, and hope I understand the directions. I'm banking on finding a "street food vendor" down the street. I will walk the streets until I find the perfect nasi goreng. This will set the tone for the whole trip, and I'm already dreaming of fluffy rice, perfectly cooked egg, and that elusive, fiery sambal.
- 21:00 - Collapse into Bed & The "Is That a Mosquito?": Eat the nasi goreng (hopefully amazing), and collapse into bed. The first night in a new place is always weird. Am I dreaming? Was that a mosquito? Is my phone charging? These are the eternal questions.
Day 2: Poolside Promises & Jakarta Jabber
- 08:00 - Morning Misery…or Maybe Bliss?: Wake up. Hopefully not covered in sweat. Check the view (crucial for sanity). Maybe attempt some yoga. I am not a morning person, but I am hoping, for once, to become one.
- 09:00 - Poolside Ambitions: Head to the apartment pool. This is where my Instagram game will level up. If I can find a decent spot without hordes of screaming children. Bring sunscreen—because I will, undoubtedly, get a sunburn with no regrets.
- 11:00 - Jakarta Jaunt: Venture into Jakarta. I'm talking, museums, and…whatever else the guidebooks say is "culturally significant.” Brace yourself for the traffic (again). Grab a coffee and hope for the best.
- 13:00 - Jakarta Lunch & Logistics: Lunch in Jakarta. Find a place with AC. And maybe some Indonesian food I haven't completely butchered trying to order. This is where the "lost in translation" conversations get REALLY interesting.
- 15:00 - Museum Meltdown: Get overwhelmed by the crowds, the heat, and the sheer amount of…stuff. Pick a museum. Commit to it. Get lost in the artwork. Learn some history. This is where the actual travel starts.
- 17:00 - Shopping & Surprise: Explore a local market or shopping mall. I'm not a huge shopper, but I love experiencing local life. This is where I might find something weird and wonderful to take home, or where I will pay too much for a dodgy t-shirt.
- 19:00 - Chaotic Traffic Return: Brace myself for the return trip to Green Lake View. Traffic. Prepare for the traffic.
- 20:00 - Dinner & Doodling: Cook dinner in the apartment. Or order in. Depends on my mood. Spend the evening doodling and staring at the view.
Day 3: Tangerang Tales & Culinary Chaos
- 09:00 - Local Exploration: Discover the local area. Find a coffee shop. Look for something off the beaten path. Find some interesting people.
- 11:00 - Culinary Adventure: Try to find a cooking class, or simply explore more local eateries. Eat everything. Take pictures of everything. Live your best life.
- 13:00 - Tangerang Shopping & Surprises: Visit a local market. Get some souvenirs. Realize I'm running out of space in my suitcase. Buy more stuff anyway.
- 17:00 - Final Nasi Goreng Farewell: Savor a final plate of nasi goreng. Say a small prayer of gratitude to the magical chefs.
- 19:00 - Apartment Wind-Down: Pack. Reflect. Write a journal. Realize, I definitely have more memories now.
Day 4: Departure Delusions
- 08:00 - Wake Up & Contemplate Everything: Last look at the view. Regret not spending more time at the pool. Remember all the things I didn't do.
- 09:00 - Last-Minute Panic & Packing: Hunt for my passport. Question all my choices. Stuff everything in my suitcase.
- 10:00 - Taxi Taxi Taxi: Get to the airport. Pray the taxi doesn't get lost (again) or overcharge me. Wish the driver the best. Say a quick "thank you" to Tangerang.
- 12:00 - Goodbye Indonesia: Board the plane. Say goodbye to Indonesia.
Important Considerations (AKA, Where Things Will Probably Go Wrong):
- The Language Barrier: My Indonesian will be hilariously bad. Be prepared for lots of gesturing and confused smiles.
- The Humidity: Expect to be constantly sweaty.
- The Food: I will probably eat everything I see. Be prepared for potential stomach issues. (Worth it)
- The Traffic: Embrace the chaos. Learn to meditate in a traffic jam.
- The Unexpected: This is where the real magic happens. Be open to it.
- Emotional Rollercoaster: Expect to feel homesick, then exhilarated, then slightly overwhelmed, then utterly in love with Indonesia.
And that's it. This is my rough, messy, probably inaccurate, and definitely not-complete-itinerary. This trip? It will be a blast.
Now, wish me luck. I will need it.
Escape to Paradise: Your Margaritaville Cape Cod Awaits!
Frequently Asked Questions: Escape to Paradise - Green Lake View Apartment (Tangerang!) - REALLY!
So, is this place *actually* paradise? Because, let's be real, "paradise" is a high bar.
Okay, deep breath. Paradise? *Maybe* on a good day, when the air conditioning *isn't* battling the Tangerang humidity in a bloody war of attrition. Look, it's an apartment. It's in Tangerang. But… hear me out. When you're staring out the window at that (admittedly kinda murky) lake, with a cuppa joe in hand, and the morning light hits just right? Yeah, then it kinda clicks. It’s *Paradise Adjacent*. You know? Close enough to feel like you're escaping the chaos of the city, but still close enough to grab a decent Indonesian lunch.
I went there expecting… well, I don’t know *what* I was expecting. Something less... real estate-y. But I got real, alright. The water pressure in the shower? Sometimes a trickle, sometimes a monsoon! But the view… the view is genuinely nice. Especially after a stressful day. One time, I was *this close* to losing it at work, and I just pictured myself back at the apartment, staring at that lake. It helped... a little. Maybe a lot. Okay, don't judge. 🤣
What's the actual "Green Lake View" like? Is it... green? Is there a lake?
Yes, thankfully, there *is* a lake! And yes, it's occasionally… green! (though, you know, it IS Indonesia, so it can get a bit… algae-tastic depending on the season). The view itself is pretty great, honestly. Especially in the late afternoon when the sun hits it. I spent a LOT of time just staring out the window. My productivity levels plummeted, but my stress levels… well, they went down a bit, so I guess it was worth it. And the sunsets! Some evenings are just breathtaking. Like, seriously, Instagram-worthy. (I’m not saying I didn’t post a few…)
Okay, I'm going to be *brutally* honest. The lake isn't pristine. It's not the Maldives. There's probably some stuff lurking in there. But it *looks* nice. And that's what counts, right? You can’t see all the… *stuff*… from the window. Plus, there are sometimes… things… floating. (Don't ask). But the water *moves*. It *breathes*. It’s… alive! In a vaguely unsettling, but also kinda beautiful, way.
Is it noisy? I need my beauty sleep!
Alright, buckle up, because Tangerang is *never* completely silent. You’ll hear the usual stuff - traffic, motorbikes revving like they're trying to escape a zombie apocalypse, kids playing, the occasional rooster (apparently, they're everywhere!). The apartment itself *can* be decently quiet, depending on which floor you're on and your proximity to the elevators. Honestly, I'd recommend earplugs, just in case. I’m talking the good stuff, the kind you have to roll up before inserting. Better safe than sorry, right?
One night, I was trying to sleep and there was a karaoke party happening *somewhere*. The music was muffled, but the off-key singing carried on for hours! I was about to lose it! I had to hide under all the pillows and shout loudly, "I CAN'T HEAAAR YOU!" (which, let's face it, probably didn’t help). It was a *very* long night... I woke up the next morning feeling like I had aged 10 years.
What about the amenities? Pool? Gym? Coffee shop? Spill the beans!
Okay, the amenities are… present. There's a pool! It's usually clean-ish. I wouldn't necessarily *drink* the water, but swimming is encouraged. There’s a gym! It’s got some equipment; most of it works. Bring your own sanitizing wipes, though. Seriously. And there's *supposed* to be a coffee shop. Sometimes it’s open. Sometimes it’s not. It’s a real toss of the coin. But when it’s open, the coffee's… passable. Better than instant, anyway.
The pool… ah, the pool. One day, I went to swim and I saw a *massive* cockroach floating in it. I screamed. I ran. I didn't go swimming for a week. It was a deeply traumatic experience. (Yes, I know, I overreact. Sue me!) But besides that one minor… incident… it's pretty good. I mean, it's a pool. It's better than *no* pool, right? I also saw a guy trying to do laps in the gym once while wearing *jeans*. I can't make this stuff up people.
Is it easy to get around? Public transport/Grab/Gojek?
Getting around in Tangerang is… an adventure. Grab and Gojek are your best bets. They are usually readily available and relatively cheap. The traffic can be *soul-crushingly* bad, though. Seriously, factor in extra time for that. Like, *a lot* of extra time.
Public transport… yeah, good luck. The bus system is… let’s just say it's not exactly punctual. I took a bus once. *Once*. I spent an hour and a half stuck in traffic, sweating profusely, and feeling like I was in a human sardine can. Never again. Give me Grab or give me death! (Okay, that's a slight exaggeration… maybe.) Just download the apps. You'll thank me later.
Any good food nearby? I'm always hungry. (Aren't we all?)
Food? Oh, yes! There’s definitely food nearby. (Thank goodness!). You're in Indonesia, so food is never far away. There are plenty of warungs (small, local restaurants) offering delicious, cheap eats. You can find anything from delicious nasi goreng (fried rice) to spicy sate (grilled skewers). Also, there are some decent restaurants in the area. I'd recommend exploring! Just be prepared for (occasional) stomach rumblings. It happens to the best of us.
There was this *amazing* sate place I found a few blocks from the apartment. The satay was grilled to perfection, the peanut sauce was *divine*, and the whole meal cost, like, two dollars! I went there almost every single day. I became friends with the owner. He even started giving me extra peanut sauce. (Don't judge my choices. It was peak deliciousness!). I swear, I put on five kilos while I was there! Worth it. Absolutely worth it.
What's the Wi-Fi situation? I HAVE to stay connected! (Work, friends, cat videos...)
The Wi-Fi… ah, the WiHotel Finder Reviews
