Newcastle Auction House: Insane Treasures Await!
Newcastle Auction House: Insane Treasures Await! - A Chaotic, Honest Review
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just spent a whirlwind day getting lost in the gloriously cluttered, potentially haunted, and definitely treasure-filled world of Newcastle Auction House. They boast the tagline "Insane Treasures Await!" and, folks, that's not hyperbole. It's the truth. Buckle up, because this isn't just a review; it's a rambling, slightly caffeinated account of my experience.
Accessibility: Ugh (And a Sigh of Relief)
Okay, let's be brutally honest upfront. The accessibility at Newcastle Auction House? It's a mixed bag. The website claims to have facilities for disabled guests, which is a good start. But navigating the auction house itself felt like an archaeological dig. Narrow aisles, mountains of…stuff, and a general sense of controlled chaos.
- Accessibility: The presence of elevators is a huge plus. But I did notice some areas, particularly the antique furniture section, were a bit tight for wheelchairs. So, call ahead and confirm what works for you, or be prepared for a potential assisted stroll.
- Wheelchair Accessible: The main areas are mostly accessible, but the sheer volume of items means it can get tricky.
Internet Access: The Digital Lifeline (Thank God!)
My phone's battery was dwindling before I even hit the door. The promise of Wi-Fi was a huge relief!
- Internet: Yes! Wi-Fi is available, which is absolutely essential when you're trying to do a quick price check on that dusty vase you think might be a priceless Ming dynasty original. (Spoiler alert: it probably isn't, but the thrill!).
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!: Woohoo! Because I knew I would need it.
Cleanliness and Safety: Trying to Breathe Easy
Look, in the current climate, cleanliness is everything. I’ve become that person who eyeballs every surface like a hawk.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Good! Excellent.
- Hand sanitizer: Present and accounted for. Though, honestly, I'd have felt better if they'd been everywhere, not just at the entrance.
- Daily disinfection in common areas: This is what I want to see.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Very important.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: I like to see that.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Not always.
- Safe dining setup: Now, here's where it gets complicated…
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: The Hunger Games, Auction Edition
Okay, full disclosure: I'm a sucker for a good meal. The auction house doesn't exactly scream "Michelin Star," but they do have options.
- Restaurants: They claim that the restaurant is open. I swear I saw a small cafeteria-style setup, but it was chaos there.
- Coffee shop: There's certainly a coffee shop. The line was long, but the coffee itself was alright. It's a necessity for the long auction!
- Snack bar: A few offerings. You could grab a sandwich or something.
- Bottle of water: Always crucial.
Things to do, ways to relax: The Zen of Bidding??
Honestly, "relaxing" isn't the first word that comes to mind. The auction house itself is more like a fast-paced sport of quick thinking and maybe a little bit of luck!
- Pool with view, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool: None of that here, buddy. This is a get-your-hands-dirty kind of place.
- Massage: Seriously?
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: The speed of the people outbidding you is enough workout.
Services and conveniences: Navigating the Chaos
This is where things got interesting.
- Concierge: Non-existent, as far as I could tell. You’re on your own, kid.
- Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange: Not that I saw. Be prepared.
- Convenience store: There was a gift shop but no convenience store.
- Daily housekeeping: I don't think that I saw any,
- Elevator: Yes, which is crucial to get around.
- Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings: The main hall is big and there are side rooms. This is it!
- Luggage storage: Good luck.
- Xerox/fax in business center: You have to be joking…
For the kids: Bring the Earplugs
I saw families, but it's wild.
- Babysitting service: I don't think so.
- Family/child friendly: I saw some kids running around.
- Kids meal: Yeah right.
Access: The Entry and Exit
Getting into the place was a bit of a free for all.
- CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, Front desk [24-hour], Security [24-hour]: Yes to all of those.
- Check-in/out [express], Check-in/out [private]: This is an auction house!
Available in all rooms: The Essentials (and the Not-So-Essentials)
Here’s where they tried to look fancy.
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathroom phone, Bathrobes, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary bottled water, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella: Most of these apply to the rooms, because I really don't think you can "rent" anything here.
My Quirky Anecdote: The Porcelain Pug!
Okay, let me tell you about the porcelain pug. I was there for hours and there was this pug statue that everyone was bidding on. It was so ugly that it was adorable. The bidding started at $5 and ended up going for $200!
Final Verdict: Is it Worth it?
Yes! If you love the thrill of the hunt!
- Pros: Amazing treasures, the potential to find something truly unique, a sense of adventure.
- Cons: The chaos. The lack of clear accessibility. The slightly questionable cleanliness. The potential to spend all your money on a porcelain pug.
Rate: 3 out of 5 stars. (Could be 5 stars with better organization and more attention to accessibility.)
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Alright, buckle up buttercups, 'cause this isn't your perfectly curated Instagram travelogue. This is me, flailing around Newcastle like a lost seagull with a credit card and a vague sense of adventure. We're hitting The Auction House, proper, and this is what might happen… or, you know, something completely different. Let's wing it, shall we?
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Pub Hunt (A.K.A. The "Accidental Liver Damage" Tour)
- 12:00 PM - Arrival at Newcastle Central Station: Sweet Jesus, this train ride was brutal! Trapped between a screaming toddler and a guy who kept trying to sell me… well, I'm not quite sure what it was, but it involved a lot of grunting and a suspicious brown paper bag. Stepping out onto the platform… ah, fresh air! And… the smell of… something. Hope it's not last night's kebabs again. First impression: Newcastle is… well, it's definitely a place. Buildings are a bit… bricky, aren't they? But the energy! I can already feel it bubbling up.
- 12:30 PM - Hotel Check-in at [Your Chosen Hotel, Let's Pretend it's "The Royal Station Hotel," for Dramatic Effect]: This hotel is… well, it's seen better days. A bit like me, if I’m honest. But the doorman (a proper Geordie fella, bless him) was lovely, and that's the most important thing, innit? Got the key, wrestled my suitcase (which, let's be honest, is probably bigger than my actual room) up the stairs, and collapsed on the bed. I might need to nap first… or possibly a stiff drink.
- 2:00 PM - The Great Pub Hunt Begins: Right, time to embrace the local culture. First stop: The Auction House. Supposedly the best place in town. I swear, I’ve spent hours reading reviews. Hopefully it lives up to the hype… or at least has decent chips. I'm ready to be disappointed.
- 2:15 PM - The Auction House (Attempt 1): Finding it! Or, at least, I think I have. This is gonna be good. Okay, maybe it was full. Packed. Shoulder-to-shoulder Geordies, all yelling and laughing. Beautiful. I could only see people staring up at the huge TVs. I think they were playing sport. Decided to give it a shot later.
- 2:30 PM - The "Accidental Detour" (or, Actually, I Just Got Lost): Right, so, apparently, my sense of direction is about as reliable as a chocolate teapot. Ended up wandering down a cobbled street, dodging pigeons that looked suspiciously like they were plotting world domination. Found a cute little independent coffee shop, though. Forced myself not to buy a cake.
- 3:30 PM - The Auction House (Attempt 2): Another look. Nope, still rammed. Decided to make a quick round and find something.
- 4:00 PM - The "Actually, Quite Good" Pub: Stumbled into this pub, and didn't note the name. But now i've got a pint of local ale, and i'm surrounded by Geordie accents. Amazing!
- 6:00 PM - Dinner at The Auction House (Perhaps?): Eventually got a seat at the bar! The atmosphere is electric. The food is brilliant. I have a burger, and some chips, and I need more chips and a drink.
- 7:00 PM - The Great Pub Hunt Continues (More Like the Great Stagger): Okay, now i've hit my limit
- 11:00 PM - Bedtime: Woke up in my bed.
Day 2: Art, History, and Possibly Regret
- 9:00 AM - Wake-up call: I swear I dreamt about a giant plate of bacon butties. Gotta find them.
- 10:00 AM - The Great Search for the Perfect Bacon butty: I'm willing to walk to the ends of the earth for a proper bacon butty. Found one in a greasy spoon called "The Clart." It was pure, unadulterated heaven. Worth the questionable hygiene.
- 11:00 AM - The Laing Art Gallery: The Laing! Sounds posh. I'm a big art person, you know. Well, kinda… I like looking at pretty things. Wandered through the galleries, pretending to understand modern art, and occasionally getting distracted by the fact that I desperately need a wee. The pre-Raphaelite paintings were actually breathtaking. I stood there for ages, just… staring. Moved on to something else after that.
- 1:00 PM - Lunch: Another pub, of course. I cannot describe the chips. I will only say, they are magic.
- 2:00 PM - Newcastle Castle: Okay. The word "castle" always gets me. Another amazing place. I just love old buildings.
- 4:00 PM - More Pubs: This is becoming a theme, isn't it? Another pub - this time, a recommendation.
- 7:00 PM - Dinner: A bit fancier. And a bit of a catastrophe.
- 9:00 PM - Bedtime: This time, I remember getting to bed.
Day 3: Departure and the Post-Newcastle Blues
- 9:00 AM - Farewell Breakfast: One last bacon butty. Gotta soak up the geordie way of life.
- 10:00 AM - Last-Minute Souvenir Panic: Buying tat for the family. Found some cheesy Newcastle United mugs, and some fudge (which, I’m pretty sure, will be gone before I even get to the train station).
- 11:00 AM - Farewell to Newcastle: Well, that was a whirlwind. I’m exhausted. And I'm already planning my return.
- 12:00 PM - Departure from Newcastle Central Station: Leaving, but the spirit of Newcastle will always be with me.
- Onwards: Never forget the Auction House.
So there you have it. My utterly chaotic, wonderfully messy, and probably slightly alcohol-fuelled tour of Newcastle. You might learn something. You probably won't. But hopefully, you'll have a laugh. And remember, don't judge me. Judge the people who don't eat chips with their meals!
Unbelievable Pattaya Paradise: GetZleep House Sattahip Awaits!
So, what *is* this Newcastle Auction House thing, anyway? And... did I spend MY mortgage on a chipped teacup? (Asking for a friend... ahem, me.)
Alright, alright, Newcastle Auction House – it’s basically a Pandora's Box of potential riches and utter disasters, all wrapped up in a beautifully (and sometimes terrifyingly) chaotic package. Think dusty antiques, sparkly jewelry, paintings that might be masterpieces (or just VERY convincing fakes), and enough quirky bric-a-brac to fill your grandma's attic… several times over. And yes, the rumors are true. I may or may not have become inexplicably obsessed, and also may or may not have completely, utterly, and irrevocably blown my budget *this* month. The teacup? Don't ask. Its definitely not a family heirloom. Possibly I need help.
It's a real roller-coaster, and honestly... I'm pretty sure I'm addicted.
How often do they actually *have* auctions? Because I swear I've missed like, a dozen already. (And my therapy bill is now... well, it's getting awkward.)
They're like clockwork... a slightly unreliable, delightfully unpredictable clockwork. Usually, auctions happen *at least* twice a month, sometimes even more, depending on what treasures they've unearthed. The website is, in all honesty, not always the most reliable source. Trust me, I've learned the hard way. Best bet? Sign up for their mailing list AND stalk their social media – you’ll thank me later. And seriously, book in that extra therapy session. Because once you start, it's hard to stop – the buzz is real! I saw an exquisite diamond ring once... it was so alluring... I barely breathed. I think I may have dreamt about it. Don't tell my wife!
Bidding... How does it work? Do I need to, like, practice? (I don't want to look like a total idiot... again.)
Okay, bidding. This is where things get *real*. You've got a few options: in-person (where the drama unfolds beautifully), online (convenient, but you might accidentally bid on something you didn't *really* want at 3 am after too much Merlot), and via absentee bids (for the seriously strategizing types – me, sometimes). Honestly, just go watch a few auctions first. That's how I learned. See how the auctioneer works, the subtle nods, the frantic hand gestures... it's a performance art! And don't be afraid to start low. I mean, unless you are absolutely DESPERATE. Like me with that chipped teacup. Then, just… pray.
So, I actually *won* something. Now what? (Panic sets in...)
Breathe. Just breathe. They’ll hit you with an invoice. You can usually pay with cash, card, or wire transfer. Check the fine print *before* you start bidding. I once missed the small print and almost went bankrupt on a *really* bizarre taxidermied squirrel playing the accordion. It was tempting, though. Delivery or pick-up? They have various options and I suggest you carefully read the terms and conditions. You might have a few days to get your stuff, but don't dawdle. Otherwise, you'll be sitting there, regretting your purchase, staring at that squirrel... singing the accordion and questioning your life choices. Not that I've ever done that.
How do I know if something is actually *worth* anything? Because I’m pretty sure my "antique" clock is about to fall apart.
Valuation... the million-dollar question (or, depending on what you're after, the five-pound question). Truthfully? It's a gamble. The auction house *usually* provides estimates, but those are, shall we say, *suggestions*. Do your own research! Online resources, books, and a good appraiser (if you're serious) are your best friends. But also, honestly, a lot of the fun is the thrill of the unknown! Of course, I say that after making a colossal blunder on a "rare" vase... that turned out to be a very fancy, very expensive, toilet-bowl. Yep, felt that sting.
What kind of stuff can you actually find there? Are we talking just, like, grandma's old china?
Never, ever underestimate grandma's old china! But the range is *vast*. Furniture, jewelry, paintings, sculptures, vintage clothing, quirky collectables... you name it, they probably have it at some point! I've seen everything from Faberge eggs (yes, really!) to a collection of rusty garden tools that somebody, for some reason, was *very* keen on. The variety is part of the charm. You never know what treasure you'll unearth. Or what absolute monstrosity will catch your eye and drain your bank account. I nearly lost it on something with a massive, gaudy gold frame. It was so ugly it was beautiful. I actually considered buying it. Thank God I didn't that day. My wife would have killed me.
Is it actually fun? Or is it just a bunch of rich people silently bidding?
Fun? Dude, it's *fantastic*! (Mostly.) Forget rich people silently bidding (though, yes, there are a few of them). It's a melting pot of characters. The seasoned collectors, the wide-eyed newbies (like me, forever), the bargain hunters, the "I just want something interesting" crowd. The auctioneers are usually the best – they have to be, they're basically carnival barkers! It's dramatic, tense, hilarious sometimes, and occasionally… emotionally draining. It's a social event. It's a pastime. It's a gamble. It's an experience. I'm pretty sure I saw a lady bid for a painting while *crying*. I mean, I get it. The art of the bid. I've definately cried after a few of them.
Any horror stories? Because, let's be honest, there’s gotta be some.
Oh, the horror stories. Let me tell you one: I once became utterly convinced I *needed* a bizarre taxidermied hamster wearing a tiny top hat and monocle. I mean, absolutely *needed* it. I pictured it on my mantelpiece, a conversation starter, a symbol of my… *something*. The bidding war started. I kept upping the ante. My financial situation was flashing red, but I was in too deep and I just couldn'tPopular Hotel Find
